Find someone you met, an old friend or classmate, click here!
Make some money for going out with someone you might like, click here!Most people think they have to go to a bar or club to find somebody who is single and interested, somebody who is looking for a relationship. There are also personal ads in the paper or the fairly new concept of speed dating as venues for starting relationships. While these may work because most people think this is the place where they can find a relationship, they aren’t necessarily the right or best places to be looking for love.
For one thing, bars and clubs are usually noisy, crowded, stinky if you don’t smoke, and dark. This means that it’s hard to get a good look at someone, it’s hard to have a conversation and it is hard to get comfortable with someone if you aren’t used to the “scene.” More importantly, if clubbing isn’t really your thing, this is really the wrong place to look because the chances are you will have something in common (essential to a relationship) with someone you meet in this setting aren’t very good.
As for speed dating and personal ads, I have personally never tried either method, but would like to say that it’s hard to try and put your best foot forward in so many words or in so many minutes. Getting to know someone takes time, a good conversation, a shared experience that takes more than a few minutes, so I wouldn’t look for love along these avenues.
What is the best place to find love? First I recommend picking something you like to do. It should be something you enjoy doing, something you like to talk about and know a lot of things about. For example, I like to read comics, graphic novels and books. Now popular culture paints these as geeky interests, but regardless, it is what I like and I suppose it’s best to be honest to oneself about these things.
Once you have picked this interest, go out and find something to do that is related to that. Join a local book club, or attend a workshop on fiction writing or drawing, find a group on the internet that is interested in this (but do be careful about internet friendships, looking for love is possible over the internet but there are precautions to be taken, which I will maybe discuss some other time). I have a custom search on the side so you can get started there!
When I was in college, I joined the comic book organization, (not really expecting to find someone there) but was lucky enough to find my girlfriend there. The same goes for one of my best friends who was in another college. Another friend of mine joined a Catholic Youth group and managed to find a relationship there. It helped all of us that we had something in common to start our conversations with our significant others with.
If you meet someone who is doing something similar to you, like attending a workshop, it’s easier to start a conversation because you already have a shared experience, the workshop. You already know a little bit about the person because you share an interest.
For example, the first few times I spent with my girlfriend (then just a new acquaintance) we talked about what our favorite graphic novels were and why, our favorite characters, our favorite writers, and the like. These of course lead to other avenues of discussion, but what really got the ball rolling was the easier starting point of the conversation. Conversation and communication is central to getting to know someone and developing a relationship
Another thing to note is there is no need to be nervous because if you are attracted to someone, they will probably not assume you are trying to hit on them if you strike up a conversation (of course you probably will be a bit nervous but keep this in mind because its true!). Most people aren’t that presumptuous. Besides, you wouldn’t want to fall in love with someone who assumes everyone that starts a conversation with him/her is trying to hit on him/her.
Do remember though that you must be coming from a place where you are trying to build a friendship, not yet a relationship. I believe this is good for both parties involved because it eliminates the tension and jitters that accompany a “date” scenario and allows conversation to flow more easily and freely. When this happens, people get to know each other better, and have a better chance of striking up a friendship that could turn into a romantic relationship. That or it allows the person to decide better if the person they are interested in is really the type of person one is interested in.
So to sum things up, the best place to look for love is in a place/event/activity that interests you and involves other people. Use the common interest you have to strike up a conversation and hopefully a friendship with people you might be interested in romantically. Don’t act like you are trying to hit on them because in the first place you shouldn’t since you don’t know then that well yet anyway, just be a friend who has something in common and some thoughts to share about a shared passion. And if you don’t find somebody you want to have a relationship with, at least you made new friends or spent some time on something you are truly interested in.
Watch out for Parts 3-5 coming soon or go to the next rule in the link below:
Part 2: Don’t rush looking for Love
Part 3: You Find Yourself Before Finding Love
Part 4: Look for Love Looking Good
Part 5: Looking for Love is not Looking for Sex
Of course, this isn’t complete or absolute in any way and the rules may not apply perfectly to all of those who are looking for love. But I do believe these will help you find a relationship that is worth growing and that you will cherish forever.
Find someone you met, an old friend or classmate, click here!
Make some money for going out with someone you might like, click here!
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