Rule #2: Don't rush looking for love
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It may sound like a bad analogy, but imagine you are buying a new computer, or perhaps a new house or car. Don’t you take the time to research about the product? Don’t you look around for the best value for your money? I think the same should go for looking for a relationship or love.
This rule is very hard to follow because when we fall in love or even just get infatuated, it becomes very hard to control the impulse to start a relationship, or be touchy, or to otherwise go beyond the platonic level of friendship. But consider this: A romantic relationship is supposed to be built to last for a LIFETIME.
Now, some may not agree to this, such as those who get into relationships for the fun of it, even if they go beyond the platonic stage, but that is really not the kind of relationship I am talking about here on my blog. That is not the kind of love I hope people will find.
Going back to my point, if you are looking someone to spend the rest of your life with, isn't it sensible to take your time before putting all the effort, emotional investment, time and other things that go into building a relationship? Making someone fall in love with you is tough work. Growing a relationship is even harder! Do you want all that to go to waste just because you could not be a bit patient with getting to know someone?
Another thing to think about that should prevent us from rushing into relationships is the scenario where we get carried away by our raging emotions and hormones only to find out that a sustained connection to the person you committed to is not possible. If you don't take your time to get to know someone, you could end up finding out things about the person that you actually cannot deal with. It would still hurt even if you both agree that you have to break up. It would be worse if either one of you was actually still interested in continuing but the other just wanted out.
What do you gain by taking your time to get to know someone before switching gears from "Let's be friends" to "Will you be mine" ? A great foundation for a relationship. Relationships are built on shared experience and having a bank of these before you actually decide that you want a romantic relationship with someone is invaluable.
At the start, during the phase in which you are both infatuated with each other, it's easy to have fun together as just being with your loved one is thrilling and exciting enough to sustain the energy of interaction. But this energy will soon subside and those in a relationship will plateau. This is a very difficult stage where many relationships falter (expect a post on this too) and it will be good to have your experiences as friends to fall back on.
I suppose I'm differentiating friendly type activities from romantic type experiences here. In a relationship, there is (hopefully!) a lot of making out and sweet talking and other romantic type things, specially in the beginning. Those are great! But you will find that you wont be spending all of your time together doing that. While being with your loved one may be nice, it may not be exciting as it used to be in the beginning as time goes on.
You will find that if you guys started out as just friends, you can just fall back on those things you did as just friends (when you couldn't make out or be romantic to each other). If you followed rule #1 you should already have a good starting point for non-romantic things to do that will help you survive a plateau.
Another great benefit of not rushing when looking for love is that you end up being more natural and therefore comfortable to be with. If you are of the mindset that you're just trying to get to know somebody and make a friend, you will be more true to yourself and should be less nervous, jittery or shy. This means that you are more fun and you manage to be more honest because you show who you really are when you aren't trying to impress someone.
So to sum things up, not rushing when looking for love makes sure that you get into a good relationship, with someone you are fairly certain you can spend the rest of your life with, or at the very least several years with (there's also that issue about not rushing into marriage). Not rushing when looking for love prevents you from getting into something that could be potentially hurtful and enables you to learn if a person has any qualities that you might find difficult in the long run. Not rushing when looking for love also makes sure that you have a foundation set even before you have a romantic relationship with someone and enables you to be as natural (and hopefully charming too) as you can be with someone so that they see the true you.
Watch out for Parts 3-5 coming soon to find love and build a relationship that matters, or read the first part of this article in the link below.
Part 1: Look for Love in the Right Places
Part 2: Don’t rush looking for Love
Part 3: You Find Yourself Before Finding Love
Part 4: Look for Love Looking Good
Part 5: Looking for Love is not Looking for Sex
Of course, this isn’t complete or absolute in any way and the rules may not apply perfectly to all of those who are looking for love. But I do believe these will help you find a relationship that is worth growing and that you will cherish forever.
Contact someone you met, or look for an old friend. Click Here!
Earn money online to put into things that interest you. Click Here!
Contact someone you met, or look for an old friend. Click Here!
Earn money online to put into things that interest you. Click Here!
It may sound like a bad analogy, but imagine you are buying a new computer, or perhaps a new house or car. Don’t you take the time to research about the product? Don’t you look around for the best value for your money? I think the same should go for looking for a relationship or love.
This rule is very hard to follow because when we fall in love or even just get infatuated, it becomes very hard to control the impulse to start a relationship, or be touchy, or to otherwise go beyond the platonic level of friendship. But consider this: A romantic relationship is supposed to be built to last for a LIFETIME.
Now, some may not agree to this, such as those who get into relationships for the fun of it, even if they go beyond the platonic stage, but that is really not the kind of relationship I am talking about here on my blog. That is not the kind of love I hope people will find.
Going back to my point, if you are looking someone to spend the rest of your life with, isn't it sensible to take your time before putting all the effort, emotional investment, time and other things that go into building a relationship? Making someone fall in love with you is tough work. Growing a relationship is even harder! Do you want all that to go to waste just because you could not be a bit patient with getting to know someone?
Another thing to think about that should prevent us from rushing into relationships is the scenario where we get carried away by our raging emotions and hormones only to find out that a sustained connection to the person you committed to is not possible. If you don't take your time to get to know someone, you could end up finding out things about the person that you actually cannot deal with. It would still hurt even if you both agree that you have to break up. It would be worse if either one of you was actually still interested in continuing but the other just wanted out.
What do you gain by taking your time to get to know someone before switching gears from "Let's be friends" to "Will you be mine" ? A great foundation for a relationship. Relationships are built on shared experience and having a bank of these before you actually decide that you want a romantic relationship with someone is invaluable.
At the start, during the phase in which you are both infatuated with each other, it's easy to have fun together as just being with your loved one is thrilling and exciting enough to sustain the energy of interaction. But this energy will soon subside and those in a relationship will plateau. This is a very difficult stage where many relationships falter (expect a post on this too) and it will be good to have your experiences as friends to fall back on.
I suppose I'm differentiating friendly type activities from romantic type experiences here. In a relationship, there is (hopefully!) a lot of making out and sweet talking and other romantic type things, specially in the beginning. Those are great! But you will find that you wont be spending all of your time together doing that. While being with your loved one may be nice, it may not be exciting as it used to be in the beginning as time goes on.
You will find that if you guys started out as just friends, you can just fall back on those things you did as just friends (when you couldn't make out or be romantic to each other). If you followed rule #1 you should already have a good starting point for non-romantic things to do that will help you survive a plateau.
Another great benefit of not rushing when looking for love is that you end up being more natural and therefore comfortable to be with. If you are of the mindset that you're just trying to get to know somebody and make a friend, you will be more true to yourself and should be less nervous, jittery or shy. This means that you are more fun and you manage to be more honest because you show who you really are when you aren't trying to impress someone.
So to sum things up, not rushing when looking for love makes sure that you get into a good relationship, with someone you are fairly certain you can spend the rest of your life with, or at the very least several years with (there's also that issue about not rushing into marriage). Not rushing when looking for love prevents you from getting into something that could be potentially hurtful and enables you to learn if a person has any qualities that you might find difficult in the long run. Not rushing when looking for love also makes sure that you have a foundation set even before you have a romantic relationship with someone and enables you to be as natural (and hopefully charming too) as you can be with someone so that they see the true you.
Watch out for Parts 3-5 coming soon to find love and build a relationship that matters, or read the first part of this article in the link below.
Part 1: Look for Love in the Right Places
Part 2: Don’t rush looking for Love
Part 3: You Find Yourself Before Finding Love
Part 4: Look for Love Looking Good
Part 5: Looking for Love is not Looking for Sex
Of course, this isn’t complete or absolute in any way and the rules may not apply perfectly to all of those who are looking for love. But I do believe these will help you find a relationship that is worth growing and that you will cherish forever.
Contact someone you met, or look for an old friend. Click Here!
Earn money online to put into things that interest you. Click Here!
